Joy-Master
| ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Contents
Brief History
The Joy-Master
The Guidelines of the Unicorn Arcana
Warning : Any and all answers coming from these guidelines have a 78,47% chance of being falsehoods, delusions or straight up, A-grade bullfeces.
Who or what?
Who or what is the Joy-Master?
The Joy-Master is a Unicorn, who's come to help save the earthly realms from 'rudeness and villainy'.
Where?
Where does the Joy-Master come from?
The Illustrious Joy-Master of the Order of Righteous Unicorns hails from the magical land of Unicorns, which lays deep within the confines of Faerie.
Faerie?
Faerie is the land where all things real and powerful come from.
The task of a Joy-Master was simple, yet important : he had to make sure that happiness and joy was prevalent within the land. After all, who'd ever heard of a Unicorn who wasn't happy?
The one in Harry Potter doesn't count.
Unicorns?
Wait....UNICORNS?!
Yes. Unicorns. NOT horses, though. Horses are the unwanted, distantly related hillbilly cousins of Unicorns. BUT, we don't hate them. No, no, we're just sad that they're not as wonderful as Unicorns. It's so sad...
Anyway, What's so strange about Unicorns? Heck, Unicorns have been a driving force in human culture. Mostly behind the scenes, but if you take a closer look. Don't believe me?
- The cavemen using clubs ==> They got inspired by the Unicorns using their horns to club evil imps.
- The cyclops ==> Definitely an allegory to a Unicorn. An extremely powerful creature with one eye ( replace it with Horn). Even in their fantasies, they can't kill it, except through trickery!
- Knights riding horses ==> We showed them that Horses are simpleminded creatures. A simple mind for a simple task!
- Virginity ==> Unicorns invented it! Why'd you think we check up on virgins? Quality checks, of course!
- Books ==> We're in so many books, it's not even funny! Though, why only Fantasy? And also, Rowling? No Unicorn would just get snatched up by a ghost with a chip on it's shoulder, pu-lease!
- Magic ==> There's a reason that the word 'Unicorn' usually has the word ' Magical' in front of it!
- Videogames (Overlord) ==> We're everywhere, though quite a few portrayals show us as mindless, petty beasts. Obviously a smear campaign organized by the forces of Evil!
- My Little Pony ==> Who beats all the major baddies in this show? A UNICORN, OF COURSE.
So you see...Unicorns may just rule the world.....If they're weren't the most awesome, understanding and wise creatures that they are!
