Henchman

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Henchmascot.png
6
The Expendable
Henchman
It's Pronounced 'Hench-Man'
Henchchibi.jpg
"Expendable just got employable."
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Player: Swixname.png
Affiliations
UnaffiliatedLogo.png
Super Group
Unaffiliated
Rank
Self-Made (Hench)Man
· Other Affiliations ·
VIPER - ARGENT - GAIA - The Purple Gang - The New Purple Gang - DEMON - The Black Aces - The Cobra Lords - The New Shadows (Pre-Vampirism) - Hunter-Patriots - Red Winter - Cult Of The Red Banner (Briefly) - UNTIL (Very Briefly) - Ouroboros (Even Brieflier)
Identity
Real Name
Ronald 'Ron' Blake
Aliases
Henchman #1-786, The One Who Lived, The One That Got Away, The Henchman Supreme, The Jack Of All Trades, The Luckiest Henchman Alive, Ron the Defenestrator
Birthdate
21st May 1978
Birthplace
Littlewood, Kansas
Citizenship
Legal and Forged Citizenships Worldwide
Residence
Millennium City
Headquarters
Varies
Occupation
Hench-For-Hire

Mercenary-For Hire

Comic Book Store Owner

Founder/CEO/President of Henchman Inc.
Legal Status
Criminal Record
Marital Status
Divorced
· Known Relatives ·
Carolina Whitney-Hammer (Ex-Wife), Gretchen Whitney (Daughter)
Physical Traits
Species
Human
Sub-Type
N/A
Manufacturer
N/A
Model
N/A
Ethnicity
Caucasian
Gender
Male
Apparent Age
35
Height
6'
Weight
190lbs
Body Type
Athletic, Lean
Hair
Auburn
Eyes
Green
Skin
Nothing Of Note
· Distinguishing Features ·
Gap-Toothed, Dimples, Light Stubble
Powers & Abilities
· Known Powers ·
None
· Equipment ·
Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® - Dual Colt M1911 Customs - IMI Desert Eagle XIX - VIPER Venom Tactical Machine Pistol - Dual HK MP7s - LWRC M6A3 - Barrett M98B - Remington Model 870 - LSAT Light Machine Gun - M32 MGL - The Henchman Inc. Sandman Tranq Gun® - Sawed-Off Shotgun - RPG-7 - Brickbuster Rifle - Henchman Inc. Collapsible Compound Bow® - Shortsword - Combat Knife - Boot Knife - Collapsible Bo Staff - Henchman Inc. Bat Of Beating® - Collpasible Blowpipe - Steel Throwing Knives - Grenades - C4 - Claymore - Rebreather - Damaged Holographic Image Inducer - Henchman Inc. Mercenary Series Trauma Kit® - Henchman Inc. Hi-Power Binoculars® - Henchman Inc. Multi-Purpose Tactical Goggles® - Henchman Inc. Spy Series Tactical Camera® - Henchman Inc. Trick Arrows®
· Other Abilities ·
An Assortment of Skills and Talents Picked Up From Different 'Henching' Jobs



Ronald Blake was always an underachiever. With his entire existence being able to fall under the one word descriptor of 'mediocre', Ron always dreamed of making something more of himself in life by becoming an UNTIL liaison. When a series of unfortunate events left Ron a broken man barred from seeing his own child, however, he found purpose again among the multitude of henchmen working for VIPER. After accidentally killing a group of Steelhead soldiers and a hero, however, Ron rose to fame and fortune as the luckiest henchman alive. Motivated into cashing in on his success by his daughter, he founded Henchman Inc. and became the 'hench-for-hire' known as the Henchman, using the smattering of skills he's learnt over the years to earn his keep in the criminal underworld.

Genre savvy, cynical and just cowardly enough to be both effective and cautious, Ron doesn't see himself as much of a bad guy; just as a regular person in a bad situation he's desperately attempting to make the best of. Though he has no particular horse in the race between good and evil, the Henchman happily goes wherever the money, and more of his daughter's affection, is.



Biography

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"I don't think any kid grows up wanting to be a henchman, y'know? I mean, you get those weird child geniuses who want to be super-villains and those socially retarded kids who want to be heroes or pirate kings or whatever, but no one ever wants to be a henchman. No, it's just something that kinda...happens." - Henchman

Ronald Blake was born in Wichita, Kansas to an accountant father and a homemaker mother. From a very early age, Ron was an exceedingly average individual. In academics, he maintained straight Cs. As far as looks went, he was a particularly unremarkable person. In the social sphere, he had a small circle of friends and was well-known about his school as that one guy everyone was completely neutral towards. For the most part, Ron was just like every other person who never really stood out from the crowd and who had no strong desire to do so, which made him a perfect candidate for a position as a henchman.

"Growing up where I grew up, heroes and villains have never really been a big deal. You hear about them raising hell over in places like New York and Millennium City but, outside of a couple of wackos who end up falling from the twentieth floor of a building or beaten to a pulp and left to die in a dirty alley, heroes and villains didn't really exist." - Henchman

An avid fan of superhero and comic book culture growing up in a town where superheroes had virtually no presence, Ron always dreamed of one day leaving Littlewood and moving to Millennium City, where he would sign up with UNTIL and become a liaison, working closely with his superhero idols. When he graduated from high school with unremarkable grades and no strong references from his unimpressed teachers, however, he was forced to compromise his dreams for the sake of reality.

"You know how hard it sucks to be nothing special? I mean, you live in a world where people can jump over tall buildings and shoot, like, icicles out of their friggin' eyeballs and you can't even get a not-lame job out of high-school." - Henchman

Living in his parents' basement and taking a job as a waiter at a local fast food joint, Ron slowly built up the funds needed to get into a mediocre college where he could major in Superhuman Studies and have a better shot at getting a job with UNTIL. Thought it took an entire year of scraping and saving, with a little help from his ever-supportive parents, Ron was eventually able to apply for a Superhuman Studies sandwich course at the local college. For the first time in a while, it seemed that things were finally looking up for him.

"Sure, it took me a little longer than, say, Genius McKnowitall or Sporty Douchebaggerson, but I was finally on my way when I took that Superhuman Studies course. I mean, it seemed like I could actually be an agent of UNTIL. Or at least get sucked off in a campus bathroom, I guess. That would've been a pretty sweet consolation prize, right?" - Henchman

However, things took a turn for the worse when, after attending a party with his work friends to celebrate his success, Ron ended up meeting a sleeping with a friend of a friend named Carolina Whitney. A few weeks later, Carolina revealed that she was pregnant with Ron's child, thereby ruining any plans he had for going to college. With his dreams once again shattered, Ron reluctantly did the right thing, marrying Carolina and agreeing to get a job to help raise their child.

"Shit, damn it, fuck, prick, cunt, fuck, dick, crap, son of a fucking thunder-bitch." - Henchman

Getting a job as a telemarketer and placing a down-payment on a small apartment for his new family to live in, Ron, like most others in his position, resigned to an unfulfilling life of mediocrity and misery, mindlessly dragging himself through the motions and slowly but surely losing the will to live. As the next eight years of his life passed by and the family moved into a larger house, the one thing that kept him going was his dedication to his daughter, Gretchen.

"You know, it's actually pretty funny. I hated the shit out of that kid before she came screaming out of Carrie. Then I couldn't get enough of her." - Henchman

Being a decent father to his child wasn't enough to hold a strained marriage together, however. Tensions between Carolina and Ron grew more and more intense as their marriage went on, eventually culminating in a heated argument which ended in Ron being forced out of his own house by a teary-eyed Carolina. Though they attempted many times to reconcile their differences for Gretchen's sake, within a year the couple were divorced and Ron, who was once solely motivated by his daughter, was only allowed custody of her every other weekend.

"Here's a little tip for you guys: never get married. Ever. Just don't do it. You'd probably have more fun tearing your teeth out one-by-friggin'-one." - Henchman

With no other alternative, Ron moved back in with his parents and withdrew into the world of comic books, online messageboards and weekly Dungeons and Dragons sessions with his co-workers for a few months, not wanting to face the reality of his situation and attempt to get back on his feet.

"I mean, come on: what kind of healthy person would willingly roleplay on a regular basis?" - Henchman

Although he only spent a minimal amount of time with Gretchen, it was his daughter that eventually inspired him to take after the comics he loved so much and pull himself out of his rut, giving as motivating a speech as a nine year old could muster. With a new resolve and nothing holding him back, Ron sold his comic book collection and his rare Magic the Gathering cards and applied for a short course in Superhuman Studies at Millennium City University, temporarily saying goodbye to Gretchen and moving to Millennium City.

"You know, they say the most powerful weapon in the world is an education. Of course, I now know that that's bullshit, since I've made a living out of stealing 'the most powerful weapon in the world' for unstable megalomaniacs with self-esteem issues." - Henchman

With a sum of the money earned by selling his leftover comics, Ron rented out an apartment with a few of his fellow Millennium City University students: Dean Dauterive, Sasha Levenstein and Richard Johnson. Though he was slightly older than his roommates and somewhat less optimistic about life, he quickly befriended them and worked his way into their circle of friends, using his newfound freedom to cut loose and forget his worries.

"I don't know why people tell you that your adolescence is the best time of your life. I was skinny, pale and covered in acne as a teenager! Now being a legal adult with no responsibilities whatsoever? That's the best time of your life." - Henchman

Getting his degree in Superhuman Studies after three years, Ron finally sought to put his life back on track. His degree earning him access to opportunities previously unavailable to him, Ron took up a low-ranking, low-paying job as a Superhuman Registrations Officer at UNTIL's headquarters in Millennium City and, within a year, had worked his way up to being a Liaison-In-Training. With Carolina allowing Gretchen to visit him for a week every month and a steady income keeping him afloat, the future had never looked so bright for Ron.

"And everything was going absolutely perfectly...Until the universe decided to shit down my throat, again." - Henchman

When a data filing mistake allowed a powerful metahuman to break out of an UNTIL containment facility and rampage through New York causing wanton property damage, the handful of UNTIL liaisons responsible for the catastrophe, looking to save their own hides, manipulated records to place the blame entirely on an unsuspecting Ron. With the forged evidence pointing directly to him, Ron was quickly fired and blacklisted by UNTIL, once again sending his life spiraling down the drain. Unemployed and quickly on his way to bankruptcy, Ron fell into a deep depression and began heavily drinking. This prompted him to drunkenly call Carolina and beg her to come back to him, revealing that she had long since married successful lawyer and ex-classmate of Ron, Kevin Hammer. Aggravated by the shocking revelation, Ron threw a drunken and belligerent tantrum over the phone.

"Kevin Hammer! She married Kevin Hammer! That kid was the biggest asshole in my graduating class and she MARRIED him!! He used to wear a fedora in public and she MARRIED him! What. A. Tool." - Henchman

Using the drunken outburst as a chance to completely remove Ron from Carolina's life, Kevin brought the issue to court and persuaded the presiding judge to deem Ron as being not suitable to have any custody of Gretchen. Furious at Kevin's meddling, Ron punched him in the nose, breaking it and getting three months in a minimum-security prison on assault charges. His life at an all time low, Ron used most of his time in prison working out and getting his body into shape. Though this gave him some purpose whist residing in prison, he quickly found that, upon his release, his life had become almost completely meaningless. With no job, no money and an assault charge on his record, Ron's future looked to be an overwhelmingly bleak one.

"You ever just wake up in the morning and lie there, staring at the ceiling? Just, like, contemplating whether or not it's even worth crawling out of bed? Wondering if you even have the strength or energy to make it to the kitchen? Yeah, that was my every day." - Henchman

Still stuck in his depression and with his life only getting worse, Ron reluctantly decided to leave his apartment and go shopping for groceries one day. Much to his surprise and embarrassment, however, he into his old roommate, Dean Dauterive, and the two old friends caught up at a local cafe. There, Dean told a despondent Ron that he, along with Sasha and Richard, had gone into 'henching', signing up with VIPER and working as infantry. Though initially appalled by the news, Ron quickly began to change his mind when Dean enthusiastically listed the perks of working with an organisation like VIPER and its relatively simple hiring criteria. Promising to put in a good word with the recruitment office, Dean urged Ron to consider his offer and return to him with an answer.

"What did I have left to lose? And, hey, when you think about it, there's a lot to love about being a henchman. You get to go to exotic places, a healthy paycheck and if you survive the first month, you get a 401k." - Henchman

After mulling it over for a few days and weighing the costs and benefits, Ron bit the bullet and contacted Dean, informing him of his interest in becoming a member of VIPER. After two and a half months of training and psychological exams, Ron was a full-fledged VIPER soldier stationed in Canada with Dean, Sasha and Richard. With fancy training, an awesome costume and an arsenal of weapons at his disposal, Ron was certain things were going to finally start going right for him.

"Things were really starting to look up. And that's how you knew everything was about to get god awful." - Henchman

One day, while Ron, his friends and a small army of his fellow VIPER soldiers were stationed at a VIPER research facility in the Canadian Wilderness and tasked with protectingit from any potential infiltrators or passing heroes, a strike team of Steelhead soldiers launched an attack on the facility, causing a massive firefight between the two warring factions. Knowing all too well the fate of a henchman who doesn't play it smart rather than brave, Ron crept away from the conflict and attempted to flee into the mountains. However, having caught a nasty cold earlier that day, he accidentally let out a sneeze, causing a massive avalanche which buried and killed the Steelhead Soldiers moments after they dispatched the last of the VIPER troops. Surprised and alarmed by the development and not used to killing others in cold blood, Ron swore at the top of his lungs just as the high-ranking VIPER soldiers exited the facility. To them, it seemed as if the brave henchman had somehow managed to eliminate an entire Steelhead strike force and was now mocking them from on high. Needless to say, they were impressed and quickly promoted him through the ranks as a reward.

"Okay, so what was I supposed to do? Tell them that I WASN'T a total badass who deserved a promotion and some cushy perks? I mean, Sasha, Richard and Dean always did things by the books, and they ended up riddled with bullets. Not me." - Henchman

Ron became a legend amongst VIPER troops after the incident. Known as 'The One Who Lived', 'The One That Got Away' and 'The Henchman Supreme', the very ground he touched was practically worshiped by his fellow henchmen. Quickly letting his newfound fame go to his head, Ron would regale his fellow henchmen with tall tales about the incident and would revel in their hushed gasps of awe.

"Huh? Huh? Not bad for a guy with a 3 month on-the-job life expectancy, right? Seriously, I had NEVER been so popular before. Henchgirls wanted me, henchmen wanted to be me." - Henchman

Ron's tall tales ultimately landed him in hot water. While giving a lecture to new recruits at a VIPER base in Colombia, the Colombian vigilante, El Chupacabra, launched a one man assault on the base, slaughtering VIPER soldiers one after another. With the trainees scared out of their mind and counting on Ron to single-handedly defeat El Chupacabra, the terrified Ron found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place.

"To be honest, I was kinda hoping I'd find out I had a crapload of superpowers I didn't know I had until just that moment where I believed in myself. Yeah, that didn't work." - Henchman

Forced to don his gear and charge against his first metahuman, Ron charged in with the rest of his VIPER comrades and prayed for a miracle. When El Chupacabra tore through the screaming soldiers in a matter of minutes, Ron promptly wet his pants.

"IT WAS A MOMENT OF EXTREME STRESS AND UNCERTAINTY!" - Henchman

Unexpectedly, though, the sharp smell of Ron's urine dazed El Chupacabra, a blind man who 'saw' through a heightened sense of smell. When Ron ceased his cowering, he realised that El Chupacabra was staggering about, dizzily. Taking his chance, he quickly reached for his sidearm and fired, hitting the hero in the shoulder and sending him crashing through the window behind him, where he plummeted from the top of the mountainside base to the jagged rocks below, his mask getting caught on the shattered glass in the windowpane.

"I still can't believe that actually happened." - Henchman

When VIPER reinforcements arrived on the scene and saw Ron grasping El Chupacabra's mask and looking down at his broken body from the shattered window, they again assumed that he had overpowered the man and, in a show of ruthlessness, had defenestrated him. Earning him a promotion to Squad Leader and the nickname 'Ron the Defenestrator'. Though glad for even more fame and money, Ron decided that he had to leave his job before his incredible luck ran out.

"If comic books have taught me anything, it's that luck always runs out. Always. I wasn't about to push mine." - Henchman

Spending a year doing easy and low-danger jobs and allowing his squad to do the heavy-lifting for him, Ron endured for six more months before finally tendering his resignation and using his acquired funds to open a small comic book store named 'Of Dice and Henchmen' in Downtown Millennium City. At the somewhat ripe age of 33 and with his youth more or less behind him, Ron was content to retire into a stable and relatively safe job which would give him a shot at winning joint custody of Gretchen back.

"I had done the whole 'follow your dreams' thing and it was fun while it lasted. It was time for me to hunker down. All I wanted out of life was my Gretchen back." - Henchman

Travelling back to Littlewood and meeting with a reluctant Carolina, Ron apologised for his past mistakes and promised that he had changed. Trusting his word, Carolina hesitantly allowed him to have joint custody of Gretchen again, stating that she would fly over to stay with him in Millennium City for a week every month on the condition that Ron kept his life together. Overjoyed at the prospect of seeing Gretchen again, Ron quickly accepted.

"I dunno. When you're a parent you do stupid and crazy things like enjoying spending time with someone half your age just because you made 'em. Call it stupid, but just knowing I'd get to spend time with Gretchen again was enough to send me to the moon. And then I remembered that Gretchen was a teenager now." - Henchman

Flying back to Millennium City with a non-talkative Gretchen in tow, Ron, desperately trying to connect with his daughter like they used to, attempted to win her over by showing her his comic store and telling her about his (exaggerated) exploits with UNTIL. Gretchen, however, had little to no interest in the comic books or video games she and her dad once enjoyed anymore and, much to Ron's despair, she seemed desperate to get as far away from her father as possible.

"My daughter was a goth. I wanted to kill myself, and her and everyone in a ten mile radius and maybe everyone just outside of a ten mile radius if they were looking at me funny." - Henchman

Despite further efforts to make Gretchen enjoy spending time with him, Ron eventually came to the realisation that his efforts were too little and too late. With Gretchen's first month with him coming to a close, Ron gave up hope and became despondent himself.

"What's the point in trying to connect with a kid who thinks you're a loser? She wasn't my little girl anymore. She was Kevin Fucking Hammer's little girl. I was just some deadbeat who was dumb enough to think his daughter still needed him." - Henchman

That night, however, Gretchen stumbled upon the basement of Ron's store. Curious, she picked the lock and entered it. Much to her surprise, Ron's old VIPER gear and reports about his many exploits were what greeted her. Woken up by Gretchen's snooping, Ron quickly rushed to the basement to try and convince her that she was mistaken in her assumptions, only for Gretchen to show the first signs of genuine admiration for her father since their reunion. Impressed and amazed by Ron's history as a legendary VIPER agent, she begged him to tell her more. Startled but glad to finally have Gretchen's respect again, Ron agreed to share everything with her.

"Gretchen is a REALLY fucked up kid. And I love her for it." - Henchman

Gretchen, enthusiastic about her father's old career, urged him to get back in the game of 'henching'. Though initially reluctant to work closely with VIPER once more, Ron was eventually swayed when Gretchen proposed he become a 'freelance henchman', which would allow him to both make greater profits and be selective with his jobs. Using Gretchen's business model in an attempt to get closer to her again, Ron became the Henchman (pronounced Hench-Man), a roving 'hench-for-hire' who promised the perfect blend of experience, expertise and expendability.

"I didn't just do it for Gretchen. If I'm being honest, I kinda missed the whole henchman lifestyle. Not so much the risking my life on a daily basis thing, but the perks, the excitement and the well-ventilated costumes. I had always wanted to work with superheroes. This was as good as I was gonna get." - Henchman

With Gretchen acting as his secretary/tech support/manager both in Wichita and in Millennium City, Ron sought to earn some recognition in the criminal community. His first lucky break came from ARGENT who, due to a data mix up, accidentally called him instead of the mercenary Warhawk, requesting that he assassinate an ex-ARGENT soldier who murdered his commanding officers, stole several blueprints and files worth millions of dollars and went into hiding. Though uneasy about having to kill someone, Ron agreed to take the job to support his failing comic book store and to win more of Gretchen's affection.

"What? Killing a guy for money doesn't make me an awful person, per se. This guy was an ARGENT scumbag who probably had it coming, anyway. I wasn't the bad guy. I wasn't even involved. I was just a guy doing his job." - Henchman

With Gretchen narrowing the ex-soldier's location down to somewhere in Ohio, Ron quickly flew there on ARGENT's dime and began seeking him out. When a week passed with no luck, however, Ron began to question his capabilities. On his way to buy an ice cream cone to drown his sorrow in, Ron accidentally ran into the ex-soldier, himself looking to purchase some ice cream. The ex-soldier, realising almost immediately that Ron was sent by ARGENT, quickly turned tail and ran, resulting in a chase which ended on the rooftop of a nearby apartment complex.

"Every great on-foot chase scene ends on a rooftop. It's, like, the seventh wonder of the universe, or something." - Henchman

Drawing his knife, the ex-soldier attacked Ron. Ron, still relatively unused to being stabbed at, narrowly evaded his attacks and managed to disarm his attack using a move from his basic training days to break his arm. Injured and panicked, the ex-soldier pleaded with Ron to spare his life, causing him to hesitate slightly. Taking his chance, the ex-soldier lunged at Ron and attempted to throw him off the roof. Quick to act and characteristically lucky, Ron managed to grab onto his aggressor as he plummeted, leaving both men dangling from a thirty story rooftop, Ron clinging to the side of the building and the ex-soldier clinging to Ron.

"How do they even DO that in the movies?! Jesus, my arms still hurt from that." - Henchman

Quickly losing his grip, Ron flailed wildly in an attempt to shake his hanger-on loose, to no avail. While the ex-soldier managed to cling on, though, Ron's ill-fitting pants did not. Before either of the men could react, Ron's pants slide off of his waist and fell off, taking the ex-soldier with them. Once again saved by circumstance, Ron counted his blessings and returned home to Millennium City, securing the stolen documents and picking up a hefty paycheck from ARGENT.

"So. Many. Zeroes." - Henchman

With his ARGENT clients recommending him to others, Ron's popularity began to steadily increase and the 'henching' and mercenary came rolling in. Before long, Ron had made a name for himself as a hench-for-hire and, with his profits, Ron set out to expand his little business into a more sizable one.

"The old Ron Blake would've stopped at mediocrity and counted his lucky stars he even got that far. The new Ron Blake? Well, if he was gonna do something, he was gonna do it right. For Gretchen AND for himself." - Henchman

Buying an old gym down in Westside, Ron converted the lower floor into a comic book store to act as a front for his less-than-legal activities on the upper two floors. With the comic book store drawing the attention of the average person, the second and third floor became the headquarters of Henchman Inc., a 'company' that specialises in training new henchmen and, subsequently, finding them placements in villainous organisations. With the founding of Henchman Inc., Ron swore to finally give the average henchman a voice and a fighting chance, so long as they gave him 10% of their paycheck from each job with him, of course, taking the best jobs and placements for himself.

"Hey, henchboys and henchgirls! Henchman here! Are you tired of your unfulfilling life? Do you long for excitement, wealth and a VIPER Standard Issue Pulse Rifle? Well, why not join up with Henchman Inc. today? Here at Henchmen Inc., we vow to make the wimps of today into the henchmen of tomorrow! Why not take part in our six week Henchboy to Henchman® training course and develop the skills you need to work with the likes of VIPER, ARGENT and many others who aren't paying me enough to mention them? Already a qualified henchman? Then why not sign up as a Henchman Inc. Gold Member® and take advantage of our unique henchman placement service which ensures that you - yes, you - get the best pay and the best perks at the most prestigious villainous organisations in the world? Fancy yourself a henchman-friendly environment? Why not just work up a sweat at our members only gym, complete with a sauna? However you want to do it, come on down to Henchman Inc. and do it right today! Henchman Inc.: expendable just got employable." - Henchman (Henchman Inc. Commercial)

For a while, Henchman Inc. functioned primarily as a company which specialised in dealing with henchmen. However, this all changed when Ron was sent on a job to kill the South African terrorist known only as 'Amani'. Amani, famous for his ability to build ingenious technology with few resources, had recently provided anti-white revolutionaries in South Africa with powerful weapons which allowed them to destroy a sizeable portion of a small city and was made into South Africa's most wanted criminal for it.

"I didn't teally care about what was going on in Africa. I've seen the commercials that air whenever I'm eating. I know it's bad. I just wanted to get my paycheck and go." - Henchman

Though finding Amani was relatively simple enough with the right connections, Ron was surprised to find that Amani was nothing more than a young boy in his 20s who used his genius to make weapons for the sole purpose of keeping his village fed. Feeling sympathy for him, Ron decided to cut him a deal: he would come to America and design weapons and gadgets for Henchman Inc. and, in return, he would send half his paycheck to his village to ensure they stayed well-fed. Amani quickly agreed and the two set off to America.

"I wouldn't say it was 'sympathy' or 'pity' or anything. I was just being business savvy, is all. I didn't feel sorry for him or anything." - Henchman

When they returned, Ron, with the help of Amani and Gretchen, began to expand Henchman Inc.'s business enterprise and established it both as a henchman agency and a small weapons and gadgets development company in the criminal underground. Hiring a team of engineers to work under Amani and opening a production factory within the Westisde sewers, the Henchman quickly made a name for himself in the world of crime and villainy. Now, with Gretchen and Amani at his side and nowhere to go but up, Ron works as a henchman and mercenary for a number of criminal organisations. From terrorist groups such as VIPER and GAIA to modern day cults such as DEMON and Ouroboros, the Henchman will take on anything challenge - so long as the price is right. No task is too small or degrading for the Henchman! Too dangerous, on the other hand...

"So I'm not winning any 'Father Of The Year' awards. Big deal. So long as I can make some money and stay in my little Gretchen's good books while I'm at it, I'd say I'm just about the luckiest henchman alive." - Henchman

Abilities

"Some of the unique skills I bring to the table? Okay, let's see...I'm good with locks. Got that from working for Jimmy Two-Hands. I know my way around evil rituals from a stint in DEMON. I have leadership experience from VIPER and, thanks to a couple months with Dr. Clockwork, I'm always punctual. What else, what else...?" - Henchman


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Henchman: Jack Of All Trades

"Hello potential client/buyer/archnemesis! If you're reading this, it means you're curious about finding out just what it is you get bundled when you hire a henchman from Henchman Inc. While I can't really speak for the other expendable drones under the Henchman Inc. brand, I can give you a plethora of reasons as to why you should hire me. You don't work in the business for as long as I have without picking up a few tricks and with a skillset that boasts both diversity and mediocrity, a psychological profile that's perfectly suited to mindlessly following orders and a money back guarantee*, you won't find a better henchman anywhere else! My special collection of combat and non-combat skills include:"


Marksmanship (Various)

Archery (GAIA)

Throwing Weapons (The Human Dart)

Swordsmanship (The Swordmaster)

Military Training (Various)

Boxing {The Brass Knuckle)

Judo and Jujutsu (The Cheshire Cat)

Ninjutsu (The Black Blood Clan)

Aikido (Killer Crab)

Krav Maga (Major Payne)

Karate (Cult of the Red Banner)

Staff Fighting and Eskrima (Bo-Lista)

Knife Fighting (Bladedancer)

Parkour and Acrobatics (Nimble Jack)

Stealth and Espionage (The Infiltrator)

Reconnaissance (VIPER)

Botany (GAIA)

Biology and Chemistry (Dr. Death)

Mechanical Engineering (Various)

Safecracking (Jimmy Two-Hands)

Sleight-Of-Hand and Pickpocketing (Wildcard)

Mystic Arts (Cult Of The Red Banner)

Dark Magic and Demonology (DEMON)

Psionic Defense (PSI)

White-Collar Criminal Skills (ARGENT)

Combat Strategy/Tactics (Various)

Survival Skills (Various)

Advanced Weapons Knowledge (The Quartermaster)

Egg Trivia (Egghead)

Playing Possum (The Possum)

Cooking and Baking (Pat-A-Cake Patty)

Computer Skills (The Gremlin)

Piloting (The Devilhawks)

Mech Piloting (Super Villain Death Despair Force)

First Aid (Various)

Escape Artistry (The Circus Of Crime)

Tracking and Hunting (Jungle Jim)

Cryptography (The Codebreakers)

Multilingualism (Various)

Group Counselling (Night School)

And many other less important talents! (Who cares?)


"Here at Henchman Inc. we always guarantee the perfect combination between mercenary quality and minion expendability for a relatively reasonable price and a relatively trustworthy smile. So, next time you're thinking about hiring a henchman for your evil army or taking the steps towards becoming your favourite villain's and/or villainous organisation's next top lackey, why not come to the best? Why not get a limited edition Henchman bobblehead and a '$5 off on every purchase over $300' coupon for the Henchstore with every hire? Why not come on down to Henchman Inc. and let us give you the helping hand you need to tower over your enemies? Henchman Inc.: expendable just got employable."


Equipment

"Henchman Inc. Hench-Handbook® Third Edition, Page 14, Article 45: A good henchman knows that the difference between death and a slightly more delayed death is his gear. S'why I always wear my utility bel- Where's my utility belt? Oh, for- Who took my utility belt?!" - Henchman


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Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper®

"Stored in the guise of a belt buckle bearing the Henchman Inc. logo, the Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® is just the thing to keep the modern day henchman on top of his game. With a built in computer system, the Hench-Helper is able to interface with nearby electronic devices and manipulate them remotely. Whether you're hacking into a mainframe to secure intelligence, activating an evil lair's security systems to shake an angry anti-hero or picking an electronic lock to some hero's not-so-secret hideout, the Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® is there for all your tech-based needs. Not enough gadget for you? Well, in addition to its primary function, the Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® also acts as:"


A cell phone!

An organiser!

A day planner!

A music player!

A totally unmonitored place to store all your secrets!

A handheld gaming console with access to the Henchman Inc. Mobile Marketplace®!

A portable television with access to exclusive channels like Merc TV® and Henchman Today®!

A portable radio with access to exclusive stations like Merc FM® and Henchman 105.2®!

An internet browser!

A substance scanner!

A best friend!

A heavy, blunt object!

And more, probably!


"With the Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® at your side, the only thing that could possibly stop you is someone much stronger and better equipped than you, of which there will most likely be plenty! The Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® may bear the Henchman Inc. logo, but that doesn't mean it can't come in different colours? Choose from Orange, Tangerine, Pumpkin, Tenné, Tangelo or Gamboge to make your Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® your own! Buy a couple!"


Dual Colt M1911 Customs: Custom ordered by the Henchman to fit both his practical and aesthetic needs, his Colt M1911 are both personalised with the Henchman Inc. logo embedded into their grips and a chrome finish. They're just the thing for popping caps in a few asses.


IMI Desert Eagle XIX: As the standard issue sidearm of low-ranking VIPER soldiers, the Desert Eagle XIX is the handgun Henchman has the most practical experience with and, as such, is the one he's come to rely on as a back up sidearm.


VIPER Venom Tactical Machine Pistol: A monster of a sidearm used by elite VIPER infantry, the Venom Tactical Machine Pistol is designed to pack an added punch when up against heavy body armour whilst also providing the wielder with a number of tactical attachments such as a scope, a silencer and an optional laser sight. Henchman thinks it's pretty nifty, if not a little heavy.


Dual HK MP7s: Lightweight, high-penetration and trustworthy, the HK MP7 Personal Defense Weapon is a personal favourite of Henchman. As far as submachine guns go, the HK MP7 is very nice. So nice, in fact, he bought it twice.


LWRC M6A3: The type of gun that's best fired wildly by a complete badass who isn't wearing a shirt. Whilst Henchman is by no means a complete badass wearing a shirt and refuses to fire it wildly, he still thinks himself to be just as suited to the LWRC M6A3 carbine as anyone else and uses it just as regularly as any shirtless gun-totting madman would.


Barrett M98B: He may not be a world class marksman, but Henchman considers himself to be a fairly capable shot with a sniper rifle when given the chance to use one. When he does get that chance, his sniper rifle of choice is the Barrett M98B. Besides its high effective range and custom multi-vision scope, the rifle also boasts that cool bolt-action mechanism Henchman loves so much.


Remington Model 870: Shotguns may not have the combat flexibility of carbines, assault rifles and handguns, but Henchman still uses his Remington Model 870 for close quarters combat and breaching. That said, he strongly advises his students against engaging heroes in close quarters battles, as, statistically speaking, it is the number one cause of death or injury for the average henchman.


LSAT Light Machine Gun: One of Henchman's number one rules about surviving your first year as a henchman is to always grab the gun that fires the most bullets in the shortest period of time. After all, skill shots with tiny pistols are for heroes. The LSAT Light Machine Gun is his favourite choice when it comes to adhering to that rule and whilst it has yet to stop a hero in their tracks because they all seem capable of dodging bullets nowadays, it's definitely bought him time on more than one occasion.


M32 MGL: The M32 MGL, or the M32 Multiple Shot Grenade Launcher, is a lightweight six-shot grenade launcher All-Star uses on occasion. Although intended primarily for offensive and defensive use with high-explosive rounds. Henchman's customised M32 is capable of firing High-Explosive, HEAT, Irritant, Pyrotechnic, Tear Gas, Knockout, Incendiary, Sound, Rubber and Beanbag canisters/rounds.


Henchman Inc. Sandman Tranq Gun®: Need to incapacitate someone without killing them? Henchman Inc. has you covered! The Henchman Inc. Sandman Tranq Gun® makes dispatching of pesky security guards, butlers and damsels as easy as one, two, three! Capable of holding a cartridge of four darts at any given time, the Henchman Inc. Sandman Tranq Gun® combines your favourite things about shooting someone with none of the mess! Just remember: when it comes to heroes decapitation is the ultimate incapacitation!


Sawed-Off Shotgun: Is there a tactical advantage to using a sawed-off shotgun? Nope. Does Henchman often carry a sawed-off shotgun around with him? Not at all. Does a sawed-off shotgun look ridiculously badass when he does carry it around? Hell yeah.


RPG-7: A souvenir from his time spent working for Red Winter, the RPG-7 may not be the most practical weapon but when it hits, it hits hard.


Brickbuster Rifle: Pinched from a VIPER armory during a drunken 'panty raid' staged by Henchman and his disgruntled unit, the Brickbuster Rifle is a little too unwieldy and excessive for him to use regularly. He does find that it's great for intimidating and incapacitating superheroes when they come knocking, though.


Henchman Inc. Collapsible Compound Bow®: With an orange/black colour scheme and the Henchman Inc. Logo on its limbs, the Henchman Inc. Collapsible Compound Bow® is handier in a combat situation than one might think. With an exceptional draw weight to arrow speed and distance ratio, portability and mechanics made specifically to cater to those who aren't quite Olympic-level archers, the Henchman Inc. Collapsible Compound Bow® blurs the edge between modern technology and traditional archery to create a bow as similar to a sniper rifle as one can get.


Shortsword: It may be just a bit rustic and it's not 'cool' or 'badass' like a katana, but Henchman's shortsword is a staple of his loadout. After all, you never know when you might need to hack, slash and stab your way to your next paycheck.


Combat Knife: More of a dagger than a knife, Henchman's combat knife is big, mean and always ready to shed some blood. Its serrated edge also allows it to function as a survival tool in desperate situations.


Boot Knife: Originally added to his loadout by his daughter who claimed it made him 'look cool', Henchman's boot knife has actually proved its usefulness time and time again over the years. Small but fierce, it provides a useful contingency to his combat knife.


Collapsible Bo Staff: A weapon given to Henchman by the East-Asian villain known as Bo-Lista in lieu of a Christmas bonus, this collapsible weapon doubles as a staff and Eskrima sticks when separated. In addition, it also comes with a number of useful features such as a deployable grappling hook mechanism, a cattle prod feature and a retractable blade. Henchamn's still not sure if he would've preferred the Christmas bonus, though.


Henchman Inc. Bat Of Beating®: Everyone loves blunt force trauma, and the weapons developers at Henchman Inc. are no exception. The Henchman Inc. Bat Of Beating® may seem like an ordinary metal baseball bat, but through the use of a bunch of scientific mumbo jumbo you probably wouldn't understand anyway, it converts potential kinetic energy into double the kinetic energy it would usually result in, packing that little extra wallop that'll leave your enemies reeling in ungodly pain. With the Henchman Inc. Bat Of Beating®, every fractured skull and broken leg will be a home run for you!


Collapsible Blowpipe: A small metallic blowpipe which can be adjusted to whichever length best suits the distance of the target. Particularly useful for stealth operations, the blowpipe comes with a five different types of Henchman Inc. Predator Series Poison Darts®: Lethal, Hallucinogenic, Tranquiliser, Berserk and Paralysing.


Steel Throwing Knives: The only thing cooler than a knife is a knife you can throw to stab people who are really far away. At least that's what Henchman thinks.


Grenades: Though he wishes he could get his hands on those cool pellet grenades he sees heroes using all the time, Henchman has decided to make due with some regular, old fashioned grenades to get the job done. That doesn't mean he isn't spoiled for choice, however, as these grenades come in Standard, Smoke, Flashbang and Signal.


C4: Nothing says 'nothing personal' like sticking a block of C4 beneath a target's chair and detonating it when he goes to sit down. That may not be the only use for C4, but it's most certainly the best one.


Claymore: C4 just not doing it for you? Why not get even lazier, leave a claymore sitting around a corner and play 'Explosion Fishing'.


Rebreather: A small mouthpiece no bigger than a kazoo, Henchman's rebreather has gotten him out of more than a couple of sticky situations, from being stuck in a room slowly filling with poison gas to drowning in the Millennium City sewers.


Damaged Holographic Image Inducer: Grabbed by a fleeing Henchman after a heated battle between All-Star and the Infiltrator, the Holographic Image Inducer was severely damaged by one of All-Star's bullets during the fight and ditched by the Infiltrator as he retreated. Though Henchman was able to repair it slightly, the device still occasionally glitches out or falters during use. When it does work, however, it makes for a handy 'disguise kit'.


Henchman Inc. Mercenary Series Trauma Kit®: Henchman typically carries a Henchman Inc. Mercenary Series Trauma Kit® strapped to his quiver for emergencies. The kit contains a practical supply of bandages, dressing, a tourniquet, duct tape, Quik-Clot, nitrile gloves, lubricating jelly, a cold pack, anti-bacterial wipes, SAM splints, a penlight, some medical tools, several useful drugs, a skin stapler and disinfectant spray. A personal addition to the kit by Henchman Inc. is a Henchman Inc. Fast Deploy Survival Tent® packed into a compressed capsule which releases and deploys it when thrown.


Henchman Inc. Hi-Power Binoculars®: The Henchman Inc. Hi-Power Binoculars® are tactical binoculars designed with the relative simplicity of the average henchman in mind. Easy to use but not to lose, the Henchman Inc. Hi-Power Binoculars® come with a range of different visual settings (Night Vision, Thermal, Ultraviolet, Sepia and more!), a high definition zoom feature and a tactical HUD. The only feasible way it could be any easier to use would be if it spoke to you and told you all the answers to life.


Henchman Inc. Multi-Purpose Tactical Goggles®: The Henchman Inc. Multi-Purpose Tactical Goggles® represent the latest and most advanced technology in keeping henchmen alive for as long as possible. With thermal and night vision settings and a tactical HUD, the Henchman Inc. Multi-Purpose Tactical Goggles® will turn your average Henchman into a slightly above-average henchman in no time.


Henchman Inc. Spy Series Tactical Camera®: The Henchman Inc. Spy Series Tactical Camera® is everything a spy camera should be. Small, portable and much more user-friendly than those crappy old regular sized digital cameras you can never figure out, the Henchman Inc. Spy Series Tactical Camera® is the perfect companion to the budding stealth-based henchman.



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Henchman Inc. Trick Arrows®

"Who needs a masterfully designed fully automatic killing machine capable of catapulting little pieces of metal at dangerous speeds and cutting down anyone in its path? Isn't that concept just a little dated these days? Do you long for something more and less? Is the standard bow and arrow combo not cutting it for you? Then why not give our Henchman Inc. Trick Arrows® line a look? Specially designed to give evil archers the one-up they need against the endless swarms of people who helplessly outmatch them, the Henchman Inc. Trick Arrows® come in a number of different types with a number of different functions. Why not collect them all?"


Standard: Sometimes you just can't beat the classics. Our standard arrows are sure to pierce the hearts of your enemies!

Armour-Piercing: Need that extra full-metal 'oomph'? Our armour-piercing arrows are just the thing!

Trident: You don't have to be the king of Atlantis to want to cause your enemies that extra bit of pain! Our pronged trident arrows may be agony for your enemies, but you'll be laughing all the way to victory!

Guillotine: Henchman Inc. believes that the best way to kill is to overkill. Make your enemies lose their heads with our specialised guillotine arrows!

Boxing Glove: Sometimes humiliating your enemy is important. Surveys show that the only thing more humiliating than a boxing glove arrow to the face is a boxing glove arrow to the groin. Would a survey lie?

Henchman's Special 'H'®: These Merc-Con exclusive arrows are tipped with a weighted 'H' shaped arrowhead which brands anyone standing in your way with a nasty 'H' shaped bruise. Make your enemy our property!

Explosive: At Henchman Inc. we believe that there's nothing more satisfying than an explosion. Blow the opposition to smithereens in style with Contact and Timed explosive arrowheads of varying payloads!

Thermite: If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen! Your enemies will be stop shooting bullets and start sweating them when you loose one of our thermite arrows at them.

Flash: Give your opponent a kick to the eyeballs with our flash arrows, designed to temporarily blind anyone looking directly at them (Do not look directly at flash arrows).

Sonic: Make some noise with our sonic arrows and show your enemies just how much of a pain you can be. Comes in Standard and Explosive (Earbuds not included).

Gas: Why cut the cheese when you can cut down enemy forces? With our gas arrows, entire rooms will succumb to your chemical superiority! Comes in Knockout Gas, Tear Gas, Sulphur and Smoke.

Fire: Who doesn't appreciate the violent destructive force of fire? Signal to your allies and light your enemies on fire with our viciously volatile fire arrows.

Acid: Inflict mortifying burns on your foes with our acid arrows. If 'OH GOD IT BURNS' is your favourite phrase, they're guaranteed to brighten your day - provided they don't dissolve your enemy's vocal chords first!

Taser: Electroshock therapy is always guaranteed to make a hostile a little bit more cooperative. With varying voltages from 'Shockingly Mild' to 'Nobody Deserves This Hell', you can tase with gay abandon!

Sticky Foam: A hostile who is glued to a surface is our favourite kind of hostile! Subdue the enemy non-lethally with our foam arrows so you can better shoot them with one of our more lethal arrows.

Bullet: Using sentry turret technology to lock onto and fire bullets at hostiles, our bullet arrows will leave you wondering why no one thought to merge arrows and bullets together before.

Net: With a net arrow in your quiver, you'll always have a job in the bag! Your enemies will be powerless to stop you when a weighted net is pinning them to the floor!

Bola: It's not just a fun word to say! Our bola arrows wrap up a fight nicely with none of the clutter of our net arrows.

Oil Slick: Laugh as your opponents slip and slide on one of our oil slick arrows. Oil is a flammable substance, so feel free to light the oil slick on fire and watch your enemies die slowly and painfully.

Grappling Hook: Defenestration is responsible for the deaths of roughly 104 henchmen every year*. Don't be one of those unlucky souls! Add a few grappling hook arrows to your quiver!

Zip-Line: There's no better way to enter a room than to enter it with one of our patented Zip-Line arrows! Just make sure your bow is zip-line compatible.

Suction Tip: Nothing sticks better than a Henchman Inc. Suction Tip Trick Arrow®! Your opponents will have a hard time shaking you with one of these in your quiver.

Tracer: They can run, but they can't hide when you have a tracer arrow in your quiver. Simply loose your tracer and use your Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® (Sold Separately) to find your target wherever they hide!

Jammer: Make your opponents mourn for their electronic devices when you hit them with our jammer arrows! Just try not to point one at your Henchman Inc. Hench-Helper® (Sold Separately)!

Electronic Bug: Hear and see everything with our electronic bug arrows! Whether you're running surveillance or just blackmailing your friends and family, these arrows make listening or watching from afar a breeze.

Nullifying: Our appropriately expensive nullifying arrows use power-dampening technology to weaken the strength of your foe until you're better able to fight them on more even ground, rather than flee screaming.


"Remember: if it's not a Henchman Inc. Trick Arrow®, it's time for you to give it the shaft!"

Personality

"I'm not a bad guy, alright? I just got myself in a bad way." - Henchman

Whilst Ron isn't a twisted psychopath who enjoys causing pain or a malicious supervillain who wants to take over the world, he is by no means a good person. Selfish, cynical, irresponsible, somewhat apathetic, reluctant and cowardly, he wouldn't hesitate to throw anyone who isn't his daughter under a bus to ensure his own safety and has, on more than one occasion, done so. A childhood and adolescence spent being exceedingly average has given him a complex about living up to the expectations of others. In other words, he's so certain that he'll be unremarkable at just about everything he does that he's quick to give up the moment the going gets tough unless he's being motivated by something he really wants. Although he's mostly in it to impress his daughter, Gretchen, Eon can't deny that a healthy portion of what he does is motivated by his love of wealth, success, fame and recognition. Again brought on by his unremarkable adolescence and the dramatic failures that have barraged him throughout his life, he thrives on attention and fame, a trait that's been shown in his approach to business.

Despite all this, however, Eon is not without his good qualities. He loves his daughter with all his heart and is willing to risk his life and put his cowardice aside just to win her love. In addition, whilst he is often ready to betray his fellow mercenaries for a bigger paycheck or for the sake of his own well-being, he is very loyal towards people he genuinely considers to be his friends and seems to treat civilians with more empathy and kindness than he does with those involved in the superhero and supervillain world, as shown with his willingness to help Amani. Though he engages in unscrupulous activities regularly, Eon doesn't consider himself to be a 'bad guy' and often peppers acts of selflessness through his life either through a sense of guilt or at the behest of his conscience. Outside of being Henchman, he genuinely tries to be a decent person and a good father to Gretchen.

As the Henchman, Ron hides up his cowardly and self-centred personality behind a facade of confidence, bravery and extreme competence to sell his services, company and products. However, his act is just that and he often sheds it when the going gets tough. For the most part, though, he has the majority of his clients and fellow criminals convinced that he's a bigger man than he actually is.

Though he is relatively uneducated, it's also apparent that Eon is a shrewd businessman a decent coach, as evidenced by the small success of Henchman Inc. He is also quick-witted and good at strategic thinking, especially when his own life is what's on the line. A lifetime of reading comic books has also made him almost dangerously genre savvy. He is very much aware of all the trappings of someone in his line of work within a comic book setting and often applies that knowledge to real-life situations to great effect. This genre savvy also affects his approach to his line of work, where he approaches most things with a sardonic sense of humour.

Something of a klutz and cursed with what he believes is bad luck, Ron's life up until the founding of Henchman Inc. has been pockmarked with failure and underachievement. That's not to say he isn't unlucky in more recent times, however. He's just less unlucky.

Traditionally a bit of a nerd, Ron has never had much luck with women, and his love life went completely down the drain following his divorce. Though he has seemingly resigned himself to a loveless life, he is still motivated by his daughter's persistence to get out into the dating world every now and then. Still, though, he can get awkward and frazzled around particularly attractive or seductive women.

Friends & Foes

"I'm not really the sort of guy who's rolling in friends." - Henchman

Gretchen Whitney (NPC)

"I'd do anything for my little girl. Anything." - Henchman
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Gretchen is the single most important person in Ron's life and probably the only one who's life and safety he values over his own. Though a messy divorce, shared custody and adolescence puts a strain on their relationship, Gretchen seems wholly interested in her father's double-life and acts as his secretary and agent whenever she can. Though she claims she loves her father unconditionally, Ron fears that were he to stop being a mercenary/henchman for hire, Gretchen would quickly lose interest in him and their relationship would become estranged again.



Amani (NPC)

"The kid's a regular moneymaking machine. He's the best thing that ever happened to my bank acco- I mean, Henchman Inc." - Henchman
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Amani is both Ron's closest friend and his top engineer, responsible for designing all of Henchman Inc.'s weapons and gadgets. Though Amani is grateful for Ron's assistance in keeping his village fed, he often disagrees with his amorality and often persuades his boss to either take jobs which ultimately do some good in the world or to do some good with the money from his less moral jobs. Though Ron claims that his relationship with Amani is purely driven by financial gain, he genuinely seems to care for him on some level and often defers to him on moral dilemmas.


Carolina Whitney-Hammer (NPC)

"Sometimes I wonder if they invented the 'It's Complicated' status on Facebook for me and Carrie..." - Henchman

Though their marriage was filled with frustration, arguments and discontent, Carolina and Ron have slowly developed a much more amicable relationship since their divorce. Though the former is still hesitant to trust the latter with any real responsibility and the latter still harbours romantic feelings, both are able to set their problems with one another aside for Gretchen's sake and could even be considered friends in more recent times. Though Carolina is devoted to her new husband, Kevin, now, she is usually willing to offer Ron some support when he needs it and wants him to be happy.

Det. Kevin Hammer (NPC)

"What a tool." - Henchman

An old classmate from Ron's high school years, Kevin Hammer was everything he was not. Hard-working, overachieving, popular and athletic, Hammer often treated his slacker classmate with thinly-veiled condescension. Now married to Ron's ex-wife and always eager to subtly rub it in his face, Hammer does everything in his power to devalue Ron in front of his wife and daughter. Of chief importance is his role as one of Interpol's top detectives, in which has taken a special interest in uncovering the identity of a particular masked mercenary...

Weaknesses

"A good henchman turns weakness into strength. A bad henchman turns weakness into horrible, painful dying." - Henchman

Expendable + Vulnerable: Henchman is, at the end of the day, a regular human. He's not even an exceptionally skilled or talented one. He's as vulnerable as any human.

Master Of None: Henchman may have a plethora of skills and talents, but he's hardly a master at any of them. If he ends up taking on a pro at their own game, 9/10 he'll lose.

Zoinks!: Henchman is a yellow-bellied coward who will almost always abandon an effort to save his own skin. If he feels victory is too far out of reach, fleeing or changing sides is always an option.

I Want My Baby Back: Henchman would do anything for his daughter, Gretchen and her approval. Anything at all. As such, she's a major weak point for him.

Mo' Money, Mo' Problems: Henchman enjoys money. He enjoys having it, spending it and making it and he'd do almost anything for the right amount of it.

No Confidence Man: Henchman has his own insecurities about his competence and suffers from a rather low perception of what he's capable of every now and then.

Tropes

"No way am I taking guard duty. The guy who takes guard duty always dies!" - Henchman

Appearance

Brought To You By The Letter "S" - 'H' is not only the letter stamped on Henchman's forehead, it also adorns all Henchman Inc. products and acts as the company's logo.

Corporate Sponsered Supervillain - Henchman is occasionally 'sponsored' by organisations such as ARGENT and VIPER in exchange for deals on henchmen and plugging.

Redheads Are Uncool - Henchman's never been anything remotely close to cool his entire life, though it probably can't be pinned on his hair.

Geek Physiques - Henchman's front teeth have a noticeable gap in them.

Personality

Loveable Coward & Dirty Coward - Henchman has made a habit out of fleeing from more powerful opponents and hopeless situations and hiding beneath the closest rock. At the end of the day, his own well-being is of the most importance to him. Whether or not this is loveable or downright despicable varies.

Cowardly Lion - Though he's always the first to point out how futile or dangerous something is and he's always ready to flee with his tail between his legs, Henchman has a tendency to put aside his fear and step up when it really counts.

The Cynic - Henchman doesn't believe that the world is a very good place. He even uses his cynical views on how the world works to justify what he does.

Jerkass & Hidden Heart Of Gold - Henchman is a selfish, greedy, cowardly, apathetic, lying, cheating materialistic asswipe to most. That being said, he has also shown that he has some morals and a conscience and, deep down, he wants to do the right thing, even if he doesn't admit it.

Boisterous Weakling - Henchman may talk a big game to perpetuate his own hyped up competence, but in reality, he's often at least slightly outmatched by his enemies and willfully accepts it when it's time to turn tail and run.

Affably Evil - He may be kind of a jerk, but Henchman is pretty much just a regular and sociable guy when he's not out doing his job and harbours no real feelings of hatred towards heroes or villains.

Deadpan Snarker - Be it nervous jokes during a tense situation or sarcastic self-aware comments, Henchman is always at the ready with a barrel of snark.

Geek - Comic books, tabletop games, action figures, you name it. Henchman's a total geek for that sort of thing.

Morality and Philosophy

Evil Is Easy & Evil Pays Better - Henchman doesn't necessarily consider himself to be an inherently bad person. He just concedes that working for the bad guys is both easier and more rewarding.

Never Hurt An Innocent & Even Evil Has Standards - Henchman only kills or harms those who he fees either had it coming or knew what they were getting into. Harming an innocent is a big no-no.

Neutral Evil - In his world, Henchman's needs and desires take top priority over anyone else's (with the exception of Gretchen). He'll readily take a job to assassinate the ruler of a country and cause a civil war if it pays enough and he'll almost always screw his allies over to save his own hide. That's not to say he doesn't care about others, though. He just doesn't care about them as much.

Anti-Villain - A Type I, Henchman only does what he does to support Gretchen and win her affection.

Combat and Skills

Combat Pragmatist - To Henchman, a fair fight is a sucker's fight, especially when going up against super-types. He'll use any advantage he can to steal the win.

Underestimating Badassery & Not So Harmless Villain - It's easy to underestimate someone like Henchman. However, one should remember that he's got experience, a host of useful skills and training backing him up.

More Dakka - Henchman believes that henchmen should always fire as many bullets as they can at the enemy. If that doesn't work, get a bigger gun and fire as many bullets as you can with that one.

Sword And Gun - A personal favourite of Henchman's, as it allows him to both attack from a range and keep melee attackers at bay.

Guns Akimbo - Of course, this one's good too.

Jack Of All Trades & Master Of None - Years of working for a number of villains and organisations has forced Henchman to pick up an array of different skills to properly function under each new employer. However, though he possesses more skills and talents than the average person, he only competent at best in any of them.

Quirks

Lampshade Hanging - Henchman has a nasty habit of doing this, whether it's pointing out the statistical improbability of his fellow henchmen surviving or acknowledging how counter intuitive it is for a villain to kill his own henchmen.

Screw This, I'm Outta Here - When the villain's plans are in ruins, the lair's self-destruct mechanism has been activated and the heroes are closing in on the final chamber, Henchman is much more likely to throw down his gun and go home than he is to stage one final, desperate assault.

Beserk Button - Don't even think about harming Gretchen.

Meta Guy & Genre Savvy - Henchman never fails to point out why he or anyone he's working with should stop doing something, citing fiction as evidence. He's read enough comic books to know the similarities between his world and the fictional worlds in his stories and applies the rules of those fictional worlds to his life.

Child Hater - Henchman has never been able to stand kids. With the exception of his own, of course. He finds the rest to be extremely irritating.

Smarter Than You Look - Henchman may look (and, most times, act) like a complete moron but he is also a savvy businessman, an experienced henchman and mercenary, a quick-witted thinker and very genre savvy.

Background and Events

I Just Want To Be Special - The main factor in Henchman's pursuit to become an UNTIL Liaison and to later climb the villainous ladder was to feel like he was more than just an ordinary schmuck.

It Gets Easier - Though Henchman was originally repulsed by the idea of killing others and working with organisations such as VIPER, the fact that it has all gotten easier over time is what's made him into the man he is today.

First Father Wins - With Kevin Hammer going out of his way to force him out of Gretchen and Carolina's lives, Henchman, believing that he might lose his daughter, has been driven to desperate measures to win her love.

Shotgun Wedding - Neither Carolina nor Ron were particularly thrilled about having to get married but, given Carolina's pregnancy, there appeared to be no other way.

Character and Motivations

Beware The Silly Ones & Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass - There are only a handful of people who consider Henchman to be a legitimate threat and even those that do also consider him to be a bit of a jackass. They're not entirely wrong, but one thing's for certain: he's a formidable force when he sets his mind and numerous skills to something.

Ineffectual Sympathetic Villain - Though he can be quite competent, Henchman has met more than his fair share of failures both before becoming Henchman and after. A lot of his fellow super criminals see him as a joke or a phony and some heroes have a tendency to not take him seriously.

Only In It For The Money - Being a mercenary and henchman for hire pays well. As does running your own less-than-legal company. Though he's also doing it to impress Gretchen, Henchman can't help but love the added perk of financial gain.

Secret Identity Identity - A frequent problem for Henchman is wondering whether he's actually become the identity he created for himself or if he's still a good, relatively normal dad trying to get by.

Action Dad & Overprotective Dad - Henchman loves his daughter and would do anything to appease her, even if it means throwing himself into dangerous situations.

Butt Monkey - It's tough being expendable.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - Every now and then, Henchman puts aside his self-centred beliefs and tries to do something totally selfless. It doesn't usually work out so well.

Secret Identity - Though it's not particularly a HUGE secret, Henchman keeps his identity as under wraps as he can to ensure he doesn't get any angry clients/targets coming after his daughter, so he doesn't lose custody of Gretchen and, more recently, so he doesn't end up getting apprehended by the overzealous Det. Hammer.

Villain Protagonist - Well, he's definitely not a hero.

Possessions

Trick Arrow - A personal fan of Green Arrow and Hawkeye, Henchman leaped at the chance to release a trick arrow range for Henchman Inc. and was quick to add a bow and a quiver of trick arrows to his loadout thereafter.

Utility Belt - Henchman believes that no good henchman should be without his utility belt. His own belt carries everything from combat knives, grenades, spare magazines and gadgets to a cell phone, car keys, his wallet and some candy.

Wall Of Weapons - In case you couldn't tell from how he dresses, Henchman has a lot of weapons.

Profession

Cynical Mentor - Henchman often reminds his Henchmen-in-training that it is very likely they will either die or end up crippled in their line of work and seems just fine with that prospect so long as the cheque clears.

Murder Inc. - Henchman Inc. specialises in taking misguided young idiots and turning them into the henchmen of tomorrow. Of course, it also assigns them to different jobs and organisations, takes a cut of their pay, and supplies them with gear.

Punch Clock Villain & Just Following Orders - To Henchman, being a mercenary and being a henchman are both just jobs. He takes no real pleasure in either but does them simply for the money and for Gretchen's admiration. He even justifies his own role by pointing out that he's merely doing his job.

Hired Guns & Private Military Contractors - Henchman does any job for the right price, from storming a Steelhead base for VIPER to training new recruits for ARGENT and everything in between.

Deadly Training Area - Henchman Inc's obstacle course is one long track of dangerous and potentially lethal obstacles designed to act as a final test deciding whether or not a henchman in training is ready to 'graduate'.

Relationships

Morality Pet - Gretchen and Amani both serve as these to Henchman. Though it could be said the former is the one who drives him to be even more amoral.

Amicable Exes - Carolina gets along relatively well with Henchman recently and seems to genuinely want him to be happy.

Love Triangle - Ron still has feelings for Carolina, but she's moved onto Kevin and Kevin is only too aware of Ron's feelings.

Hero Antagonist - Det. Kevin Hammer may be a complete douchebag trying to remove a romantic rival from the picture, but he's still a detective attempting to apprehend a criminal.

Gallery

"Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have." - Henchman

RP Hooks

"Here's my card. I do assassinations, bodyguarding and team-building seminars." - Henchman
  • Ever worked closely with a villainous organisation? Ever ended up fighting against one? Odds are you might have encountered Henchman without even knowing it.
  • If you're looking to become a henchman or just to pick up some useful skills which could apply to any supercriminal, Henchman Inc. might be the place for you.
  • Need a mercenary for a slightly shady job or a high-ranking henchman to keep the others in line? Why not call Henchman in?
  • Henchman regularly trains other wannabe criminals in the ancient ways of henching. Maybe he taught you a thing or two.
  • Henchman's comic book store, Of Dice And Henchman, operates out of Westside and is a relatively friendly environment for lovers of all things nerdy. You may have even seen the owner there a few times.
  • Henchman had a brief tenure working as a liaison for UNTIL. Maybe you've heard of the scandal which lost him his job.
  • Henchman is well-known amongst Steelhead soldiers for killing an entire strike force of Steelhead soldiers as a VIPER soldier. Of course, it was purely an accident, but they don't know that.

Trivia

"I have a Twitter for this sort of thing." - Henchman
  • The best candidate for Henchman's voice is H. Jon Benjamin
  • Henchman has been a comic book fan since his youth and has a large collection of comics spanning over 23 years.
  • In his spare time, Henchman runs a henchman support group which helps ease the troubled minds of evil minions. For a fee, of course.
  • Henchman always keeps some snacks in his pouches for 'emergencies'.
  • Henchman Inc.'s business enterprise isn't strictly limited to training and representing henchmen and making gear. The company also owns the radio station Henchman 105.2®, the TV station Henchman Today® and the monthly magazine Hench®. All of these specialise in henchman related news and entertainment.
  • Henchman believes that katanas are for assholes and that using one makes you an asshole because they're for assholes.
  • Though the idea for Henchman was one of my own, characters like Henchman 21 and 24 from Venture Bros, Taskmaster, Deadpool, Deathstroke, Bob, Agent Of Hydra, and Animal Man definitely helped flesh him out a lot more.

Soundtrack

"Buy our limited edition Widowmaker Energy Rifle® and we'll throw in a copy of Now That's What I Call Henching® '13 for just $12.99 plus postage and packaging!" - Henchman (Henchman Inc. Commercial)

1. Henchman - Kirby Krackle

2. Ain't No Rest For The Wicked - Cage The Elephant

3. I'm No Superman - Lazlo Bane

4. Stuck In The Middle With You - Stealers Wheel

5. Ask DNA - The Seatbelts

6. Takin' Care Of Business - Bachman-Turner Overdrive

7. How You Like Me Now? - The Heavy

Comments

""Sure, yeah, just stick it in the suggestion box." - Henchman

Got something to say about the Henchman but you're aware that the Henchman Inc. suggestion box just leads to an incinerator? Say it here!



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